Your impulsive energy will lead you to buy something ridiculous online. It will arrive broken. The universe is telling you to maybe think for five seconds.

You will crave comfort food. You will eat too much. You will feel sluggish. The stars suggest you try a salad, but we both know you won't.

Your two brain cells are arguing again. One wants to be productive, the other wants to binge-watch cat videos. Spoiler: the cat videos will win.

You'll feel emotional about something trivial, like a commercial or a slightly misshapen muffin. It's fine. Cry it out. The muffin doesn't judge.

You'll want attention. You might not get it. Consider doing something actually impressive instead of just standing there looking majestic.

You will notice a tiny, insignificant flaw in something and it will bother you all day. The cosmos recommends a deep breath and maybe a Xanax.

Indecision strikes! You will spend 45 minutes choosing between two nearly identical items. Just flip a coin. Or buy both and regret it later.

Someone will mildly inconvenience you. You will plot elaborate revenge in your head. Let it go. Or don't. I'm not your therapist.

You'll get a wild idea for an adventure. It will probably be poorly planned and end with you lost and asking for directions. Sounds fun!

You'll work hard. As usual. The stars say "take a break," but you won't listen. Your to-do list is your only true love.

You'll have a weird, "brilliant" idea that makes sense only to you. Your friends will smile and nod while slowly backing away.

You'll daydream instead of doing what you're supposed to. Reality is overrated anyway. Just try not to miss your bus stop.